Kiss Her Goodbye
by Unknown Pain
Summary: EDITED! “Then don’t go!” Her hands grab my arms tightly. I look at her sadly. “I can’t stay.” “Why not…!” “Because I don’t have a choice,” I answer slowly. “I have to go.” -ONESHOT- NxM


Sam – Finally, my first oneshot! It took me a while to make this, but it is finally done. By the way, guys, it is, like I said before, my first oneshot so please go easy on me, alright? Anyway, this oneshot is about how Natsume is going to leave Mikan because of the fact that he needs to train. Enjoy reading! ^^

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**Written by – Unknown Pain. **

**Disclaimer – I do not own Gakuen Alice… yet! You'll hear me? I'll own it sooner or later, heh you'll see. ;)**

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**Kiss Her Goodbye**

"_Goodbye… Mikan," _

-Unknown Pain-

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She had sobbed. She had looked at me with her amber orbs that were filled with tears, concern and sadness. The girl I've come to know for the past years had gaped at me in disbelief.

Because I told her that I have to go soon. Away from the academy. Away from her.

"_Training."_ Persona had said. And I don't even know why I need to train. He just said that.

I, of course, didn't want to, but I had no choice. He and the principal already made the decisions. Everything was ready to go, and there was nothing I could do. I had no say in the matter. I could only listen to what they say, and go with them.

Why I have to go on this mission, I don't understand. I mean, isn't it just a waste of time? The only thing "training" will do is lead me closer to death.

"_Because you have to, Natsume." _

True that I can finally escape this wretched place that I've always hated, but what's the point when those wretched people were coming with me? What's the point if I'm also away from her? She, the girl I like… the girl I love, the girl that was always making my pain go away when she smiled her angelic smile at me. Always…

When I told my best friend Ruka that I had to go, he was shocked as well, but took it better than Mikan. He nodded in understanding, as he always did, though his eyes filled with sadness. It gave me a feeling of guilt.

Ruka and I are always together. We came here, to the Alice Academy, together. When we were young, we promised each other that we'd never be apart. And that promise always held.

But now one of us is breaking the promise… and that one is me.

When I heard from Persona that I have to leave the academy, I couldn't believe it. First I thought that it was a stupid prank. It almost made me incinerate him. But when I saw how serious his face was…

I've always dreamed to kill him and the principal, to send them to hell, where they belong! But what's the difference? It'll only bring me in more trouble. I have no choice to listen to them and do what they tell me to.

I never could and never will be able to make decisions. I was robbed of my freedom since the first step inside Alice Academy. And even if I run away, escape from the academy, and never come back, the others, the innocent ones will be in danger. And I don't want that. 'Cause I know they'll be in danger, and it'll be my fault.

"Natsume, you're not serious are you?" her voice trembles and grows softer with every word she speaks.

I wish…

I shake my head twice, slowly. "Yes." I say shortly.

Her eyes grew wider.

I suddenly feel cold drops of water falling on my skin. I glance up. The sky that used to be blue is now a dark gray. The cold drops of water were little at first, but started to grow more, and more the rain comes down hard and batters both of us.

The sky cries along with my angel.

I turn my eyes back to her. I see a tear streaming down her cheek… Or it could just be a raindrop.

"Y-you… you promised me that you'll never leave me, Natsume! You promised that!" she yells in a half sob.

"I know.." I mutter, looking down. "I don't want to go…"

"Then don't go!" Her hands grabbed my arms tightly.

I look at her sadly. "I can't stay."

"Why not…?!"

"Because I don't have a choice," I answer slowly. It kills me to see her tears rolling down from her eyes. I offer her a brief smile and put one hand on her shoulder before sliding it off. "I have to go."

"N-no.. no, maybe.. you don't have to go. Maybe we'll think of something… m-maybe… maybe there is still a chance!"

No..

I shake my head. "If we can really think of something, then I wasn't here to say goodbye to you. But… there is nothing you can do, there is nothing I can do… nothing."

"Don't say that!" she yells. Her weak smile disappears, and she tightens her grip on my arm. "There is always a way, Natsume! Always! If we just do our best then we'll find it!" Typical of Polka-dots.

I heave a sigh. "Not this time."

"No…" she mumbles. "Natsume, I don't want you to go."

"You're not the only one," I mutter back.

"Then don't go Natsume, don't go." her tears come faster. "Stay. You always promised that, remember? So don't go."

I shook my head again. "I can't. I don't have a choice. I have to go."

Silence ensues. She fiddles with one pigtail nervously. Her amber orbs, filled with tears lock on me. I feel the pain that she's feeling, the sadness that she's feeling, and it's awful.

She shakes her head slowly in disbelief. "No…No!" She hugs me tight as if she never wants to let go.

I look down.

She sobs in my chest.

Sighing, I hug her back.

She's always crying. Most of the time I'm the one to blame for making her cry. I hate it. I always feel concerned and guilty, because I know it's my fault that she's crying. She's crying for me. She's worried about me.

Even though I'm used to it, it still surprises me if she's crying for me, and _only_ for me. Despite the guilt, it makes me feel a tinge of happiness.

"Stop crying, Polka," I mutter under my breath.

She shakes her head in my chest, causing me to heave a sigh. "I… I… I can't."

I pull her closer to me and close my eyes. "Well, you should. You're even more uglier if you're crying, stupid."

She sniffs again and I frown. "Didn't I tell you to stop?"

She looks up at me, biting her lip. Tears are still trickling down her cheek. "I… I can't. What'll happen to you if you're gone? If you have to train, then that means you have to use your Alice. And if you'll use your Alice too much... then... then... you'll... you'll..." She stops, and bursts out in crying again.

I heave another sigh. I know what she was going to say: If I use my Alice too much, I will die. I know that. It is not a happy thought.

I wipe her tears away. "I know," I show her a thin smirk. "But I'll make sure that never will happen. So stop crying, stop worrying about me, and smile, idiot."

She looks down. "I… I j-just can't. I just can't. I just care so much about you, Natsume! I don't want you to be hurt! I don't want you to be in pain, anymore!"

I widen my eyes for a moment, and frown. "I can't believe you…" I mutter, pull her close, feeling her soft lips with mine.

I feel the heat of our bodies.

I feel her wrapping her arms around me, and kissing back.

I already kissed her once before, but this time it was… different.

I keep my eyes closed, and tighten my grip. I don't want to go. I don't want to let _her_ go. I don't want to end this. It feels so good… I never want to stop kissing her.

"Natsume," I hear a dark yet evil voice call. "It is time..."

I break the kiss, and look at her, possibly for the last time. Her eyes beg me to stay, but I only smirk and shake my head. She beams her angelic smile, the smile I love the most.

A little tear runs down her cheek. I raise an eyebrow. "Still crying?"

She wipes the tear away. "Why don't you?"

I don't answer her. I don't know what to say.

I never cried… Even though I want to cry every day, I can't. I just can't. The tears stopped long ago. I want to be strong, and with that thought I'm always pushing the pain and sadness away until I don't feel it anymore.

Like now. Even if I want feeling of crying, I just can't. My heart has a compressed feeling and my throat is dry, but the tears just don't come anymore.

I want to be strong for her.

"Because I don't want to.."

"Why?"

"'Cause I'm going to be strong."

She slides her hand down my chest and looks at me sadly. "Well, you're already strong enough.."

I look at her, come close to her, and kissed her lips softly once more. "I have to go."

Her smile disappears. "Now?"

I nod curtly.

"B-but, I thought…" she stuttered.

I show her one last smirk. "Don't forget what I said to you, Polka-dots, okay?"

Though tears form in her eyes, she presents me her angelic smile, and nods her head.

As I walk away, I turn around. I peer over my shoulders to look at her. "Goodbye… Mikan," I whisper and I run to the direction where Persona's voice came from, leaving her behind.

"Ah, you're finally here, Natsume." The voice comes from behind the tree. I stand still. Turn my eyes toward the tree, I see Persona crossing his arms.

"Shut up."

"Watch the impudence, child. Are you ready?"

I nod my head, showing no weakness in my expression.

"Good." He says shortly. "Well then; come."

He turns his back and starts on the journey.

I swivel around towards her. She leans against a tree, sniffing, crying and frantically wiping her tears away.

I turn back and touch my lips with my fingers.

I'm really going to miss her…

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Sam – So, did you all enjoyed this? I hope so, especially because it is my first oneshot ever. Also, I wanna say thanks to **IndigoGrapefruit** who edited this piece of crap in something more… bearable to read. I also changed the A/Ns into something more mature lol, and I _also_ edited the title: **Kiss Her Goodbye** instead of **Kiss Her Good Bye**. It isn't much changing, but I liked it more. XD

Thanks for reading, please review and don't flame.  
-U.P

Written – 03-17-09.  
Edited – 12-17-09.


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